YOUR DUCK IS DEAD…A LITTLE HUMOR FOR YOUR DAY

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Category : Just For Fun

Dear Readers,

I have had animals as companions for as long as I can remember. The have always been a joy in my life, and a comfort when bad days come along. Their trips to the vet, however, are often an adventure—and not without a little trepidation. So I thought you might enjoy this short, funny tale. Again, this piece came to be without attribution, but was openly shared, so I pass it along to you.  Enjoy it as I have.  Best Wishes, Jane

 

 

YOUR DUCK IS DEAD

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the vet.

“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry”, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill.

“$150!” she cried, “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!”

The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.”

If you’re smiling, you must pass it on!

Living To Laugh

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Category : Just For Fun

Years ago, I worked in a hospital. A lot of my day was spent around people who were struggling with illness and loss. To offset the stress of work, I decided to find something to laugh about every day. From that day forward, whether it be a joke, a comic strip, an oddity, or the sun shining on the water, I laugh. It is wonderful for the soul, for no matter what is going on in my life, that moment of laughter brings in the sunshine. Today, I thought I would share a few quotes with you that make me laugh—may they bring sunshine into your day!

Jane

 

 

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“The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.” Paul Fix

 


“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”  Jack Handey

 

 

I’ve often thought that the process of aging could be slowed down if it had to go through Congress.” George W. Bush

 

 

“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.” Mark Twain

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